You musn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling...

I am tired of all the prognosticating about publishing that seems to be filling up the intramaweb these days. I have been trying to distract myself with other things but it doesn't help that one of those other things is book award season here in New Zealand. Sometimes I get a bit headachy from jumping up and down to get people's attention: publishers, reviewers, readers. And the trouble with jumping is that you are only in their view for seconds before you are heading back down again and trying to get ready to jump just as high if not higher the next time. Jumping can be jolly tiring. But if I stop jumping will that group that finally noticed me and who are looking for me at my next jump going to stop waiting and turn their attention elsewhere? It is coming up to announcements for the finalists in the NZ Post Children's Book Awards and I have been feeling nervous, hopeful and downright sick about the whole thing. There are too many wonderful books out there and I don't fancy my chances. Don't worry, people say, there are plenty of great books which miss out. Missing out is not the end of the world. Its not an indictment against your book. Others might look at me and think its a bit arrogant to think my books are good enough. I think its healthy to hope they are good enough.

Awards nominations put a spring in your step that give a bit of height to your jumps and, well folks, as Eames says in Inception, "You musn't be afraid to dream a little bigger darling..." I guess there's always next year :)

First lines and dangling carrots...

Saw an interesting meme on Lili Wilkinson's (young australian author) blog t'other day and thought I'd give it a go. Its all about first lines from your own writing. So here goes:

Published
Clever Moo (PB) - Margaret was not like her best friends, Daisy and Bossy

The Were-Nana (PB) - For Stella Rosa's older brother Simon, there was no better fun than scaring his sister

Jack the Viking (novel) - "Ready Jack?" asks a blond boy my age, carrying a sword and shield.

The Gift (ss) - Everyone says I talk too much.

Unpub'd but completed Work
Pirate Eye (junior chapter book) - "What's wrong with you?" the big boy at the school gate asked.

The House That Went to Sea (PB) - Granny Gale's house smelt of fish, and rocked with the booming of the waves.

Jack the Viking: Magnetic North (novel) - I don't dream so much anymore.

The story I'm working on now begins with the first line of an essay the main character is writing for school which I quite like - Apparently my older sister Michelle was perfect.

I found it a fascinating exercise with slightly surprising results. What do you think? The new picture book I just finished has my shortest first line ever - Old Tatty. I guess if it gets picked up an editor might have something to say about the punctuation of my first few lines and that first sentence will get longer. I have a bunch of short stories pub'd and unpub'd I haven't included in this exercise. Maybe I'll do them another day. I'm now up to ten short stories either pub'd or signed up for publication. If I can increase that number just a wee bit more I might start dreaming about assembling a collection one day.

I have other dreams for my writing including: to be published overseas (especially in a different language) and to (be paid to) travel overseas for my books. One of the blogs i check out regularly had a very interesting snippet of information in it the other day. Moon Rat (who hangs out at Editorial Ass) talked of a children's novel that took 5 years to find a publisher and the first print run was a miniscule 1,000 copies. I would love to have me a copy from that first print run today - it would be worth a wee bit. Go check out the book she's talking about. It shows that you have to hang in there and believe in your work even when things seem to be going badly, although things don't always turn out as well as this has :) I need to hear this kind of stuff as I have been grumpy about recent events and feasting on far too many crabby patties lately. Sorry to the two workmen working next door who got a terse comment or two from me yesterday when i asked them to move their van from my driveway so I could go out. I am finishing up (at LONG last) the rocket-science-like university assignment I have been working on since Adam was a boy and trying to finish up my current WIP which is going okay but which I am now having enormous doubts over. Too late I guess, to wonder if its saleable - less then 10,000 words to go (although thats to the end of the first draft only). But these two things are not filling me with joy - they are filling me with huffing and puffing, sweating brow grumpiness. I need a carrot dangling. The overseas trip we are planning is too far away to perform this function so I will have to find something else.

good times...

To my delight, in addition to its small screen appearance last tuesday, The Were-Nana is turning up on a couple of 'recommended' lists. This freight train just keeps getting faster and adding carriages. But mixed in with my happy feelings is the realisation that the only thing I had any control over was the writing of the story and the action of submitting the manuscript. At that point I had to let my story go and accept whatever fate befell it. I have done nothing different with my other books and they have lived a different life. I can get out there and promote them all but their fortunes are out of my hands. And of course this doesn't include the manuscripts that came back to me. The unpublished stories I loved just as much and spent just as much if not more time nurturing and polishing and refining. I still hope their time will come and I will never give up believing in my paper babies but their futures are out of my control. All I can do is write the best stories I can and keep sending them out. And of course celebrate like there is no tomorrow when things go well.

Hey thats me in my pre-schooling days in the photo. I was at my sister's first holy communion. Yes my dresses were a bit short even in those days but at least I wore my hat at a very cool jaunty angle.

Farewell 2008. Here's to 2009...

(two of my three children on holiday in Rotorua in 2008):-

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2009 dawned bright and shiny here in Auckland and looked as hopeful and ripe with potential as it could. I've never been so keen to start a new year as I was this time around. 2008 was not without its own charms but it had more than its fair share of frustrations. I hope 2009 does not buckle under the wait of expectations as I know I am not the only one looking for better things this year. I have made one New Year's resolution but have decided to keep it mostly to myself.

I'm also not keen to out too many of my hopes and ambitions for 2009 either. Mostly because they rely on things outside my control and it is impossible to say right now how things will pan out. If the incidence of 'better things' relied solely on people's hopes then this year would be a doozy but it all feels very up-in-the-air. Anything is possible. I have two stories to finish (the YA and an intermediate thriller) and I will be putting the hard word on myself to get those done. One at least must be done ASAP. Hopefully both. As my daughters are off to the States in April to represent NZ at the World Cheerleading Champs in Florida I know a lot of my time will be focused on helping them get ready. I don't have too many other plans in the first half of the year. The latter half of 2008 came to such a swift conclusion because of all the things I had on in September, October and November that i am looking forward to a calmer pace in 2009.

I've also been too hung up on the fate of old manuscripts and it has been holding me back so one other ambition I will own up to is the one where I let go of those old MS and their fates and devote the attention they deserve to my current WIP. This sounds so dreadfully easy when I put it like that but I really struggle with this one. I love all my babies and want them to do well and they have been unemployed too long! Worrying about them really does slow me down on my writing. This morning the son of a friend of mine stirred another idea i've had festering away in my brain for a while with an idle observation about school footwear (its a long story - hopefully an interesting one when i get round to writing it) but i really must finish what's cooking now before i can get started on that.

Heres to 2009 - may it be as bright, shiny and prosperous as it first looked.