Last day of the year here at the leading edge of the time zones. Although in many respects it is just another day, I am feeling the weight of the year sitting heavily on me. Why does it do this? For me personally it wasn't a bad year at all and I have good things on the horizon. And yet new year's eve just always does a number on my thinking - stoopid tradition. It demands I assess my 'this year' behaviour and begs of me what changes I intend to make for the 'coming year', and what my goals and ambitions are. It's all nonsense but I fell in to the trap and have kind of done it anyway. So here are my goals and hoped for improvements ...
1. I have some picture books contracted to come out in the next few years and for the first time in decades I am easing back on the picture book writing. And I want to fill the gap with other kinds of writing. I have managed to chuck up some mental barriers for myself with longer form writing and I need to find the means to scale/overcome/clamber over those barriers. I may need a little bit of magic to make this happen. I want to push the envelope ...
2. I intend to do less magical thinking. You know, the kind of thinking where we believe if we stay in the living room watching that important rugby final on TV, our team will lose, so we go and read a book in the bedroom. Or the thinking where we are sure if we tell someone our book is going to the acquisitions committee it'll jinx the outcome so we tell no one. If I don't do this, then that will/won't happen. There is no actual logic to it and yet we find ourselves wearing our lucky socks for far too long and wondering what else we were 'meant' to do/wear/conceal when we don't get the outcome we wanted. This is the kind of magic I don't need in my life so I am going to be challenging this thinking anytime it steps forward in my mind.
3. I want to learn more of Te Reo
4. I'm going to work up criteria for things I should say 'no' to. I don't think it'll be a big list of things and nothing may qualify for a 'no' in 2022, but if I put down in writing what I really don't want to do, it'll be there when I need it. That thinking that we should do something that scares us everyday is great for pushing us past our comfort zones but it takes a lot of energy and strength to exist outside our comfort zones and there are definitely limits we should apply to this thinking, because while it's great to do new things, too much stress and adrenaline will wear you down. And when you are thinking 'no' and someone tells you to feel the fear and do it anyway, turn the question back on them and ask them what they have done recently that pushed them out of their comfort zone to assess whether they belong to the school of 'take my advice I'm not using it'.
5. And I need to stop thinking I have to decide any goals or improvements on new year's eve. So I will also be making plans to fill up December 31st 2022 with activities that make this kind of thinking near impossible. This could be fun ...
... so better living everyone. Have a safe and happy new year's eve, and I wish you all the good things in 2022 xxx
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