No, I do not want to answer your quick survey...

I owe a huge debt to all the cold-calling sales people, door-to-door sellers, and bible enthusiasts. They have made me skilled at fobbing them off. I'm not proud, but I have even developed the ability to have a joke at their expense. "Excuse me madam I would just like to conduct a quick survey. Are you worried about retiring at 65?" No. When they try the question again - I'm not planning to retire. I'm a writer. Writers never retire. We might throw the towel in but that's a different thing entirely. I'm not even having to make up stuff to have my fun. The thing is when you deviate from the script, 9 out of 10 cold-callers don't know what to do. When you've answered all their questions with responses they didn't expect or anticipate, when you've made it clear you don't have any concerns about it, its hard for them to launch in to their sales pitch about how they can address your concerns about retirement or whatever it is they were relying on you to be concerned about, with their lifestyle, money scheme, life insurance plan etc... that they were trying to sell you. I never invited them to sell me this stuff - I consider them fair game. And I confess that I now have charity collectors in my sights. I have made my selection of worthy charities I can and will continue to support. This includes local school children with their terrible (but brilliant) chocolate, thons and raffle tickets I will never, ever win anything on. The education of those children will be good for them, my neighbourhood, and me. But anyone else who rings me up with a pen or teddy bear in return for my $30 donation or who knocks on my door with a laminated badge and a clipboard wanting to sign me up for a monthly amount is TOO organised - being this organised costs money. The fact that there is a near continuous stream of folk ringing, knocking and asking, and that as someone who works from home there is no way to avoid these folk apart from hiding in the closet when I see someone coming down the driveway which just seems wrong when I am in my own house, I have no choice but to develop strategies to make a quick exit or, if I'm in the mood, extract that pound of flesh from them that they are trying to get from me. Bring it on - because I am ready!