Monday, February 23, 2009

My form-completion gene is defective...

Okay, so I ignored the universe. Brazen tart that I am, my application for Creative New Zealand contestable funding is now in the post. I succumbed and submitted a sample of the planned work after all (after checking in with a Creative New Zealand contact who kindly got back to me very quickly but said no a sample of the WIP was what they really wanted). I rejigged a few things because I think I had ticked a few wrong boxes yesterday, but I'm not sure, because I have come to the realisation that forms bring out the worst in me. I have had three children. I have sat many exams and passed. I can drive. I can use a mobile phone and a computer. But I cannot fill in a form. Any kind of form - it doesn't matter. Put one in front of me and my mind empties. I become certain that every question is a trick question. I become certain that half the instructions are missing. I become certain i will make a mistake and it may result in death or dismemberment. My form-completion-gene must be defective (also known as G-I-don't-know syndrome). I am hoping for a cure. Maybe gene therapy or a stem cell transplant. At the moment all I can do is medicate myself with an oral application of the only treatment available - chocolate (a bit like when chocolate is the treatment for dementors - form filling is the same thing essentially, sucking the happiness out of you).


Fifi Colston said...

oh no- this has had me looking at my unfunded novel- and thinking- should I apply? I think not- the panel really don't want to see Wild Cards turning up for a 5th time! Hope yours does better. Gota get a break sometime huh?
x Fif

Melinda Szymanik said...

They are now nixing repeat applications which was plan A, so i had to resort to plan B with slighty underprepared new story instead. Fingers crossed (but no breath holding):)