You would think, as writers who constantly scrutinise words and their meaning, and agonise over their use and placement in our works, that we would be better at using them on our own behalf.
Lol.
We are sweet gentle souls who have some terrible habits. We hate to risk offence. I want to bring a few of these habits to your attention, point out why they are not in your best interests, and suggest some better habits.
Stop apologising. Okay. Not all the time, in every instance. Sometimes we do make genuine mistakes and an apology is the best way forward. But I suggest apologising for taking up someone's time to do something for you when that is their job, or for intruding when they are at their desk doing the thing that involves the kind of work you are enquiring about, is unnecessary. Providing an apology indicates there is something to apologise for. The reader of that 'sorry' will go looking for that justification and then feel aggrieved in accordance with that apology. There are many variations of this 'sorry' too. No 'maybe's' or 'perhaps's', or 'I hope you don't minds'.If you never said it, if you were confident in your approach and your belief that you are within your rights to access their time, attention and services then they will believe you. Of course, there should also be no pushing too far the other way into arrogant or pushy language. Be polite and professional. Be someone other people want to work with. Just don't make excuses for your presence in their inbox.
So, if you are sending an email or other type of enquiry, check it over for apologetic language before you press send. If you find any evidence of apologising, test it. Is it justified? Are you apologising for just being you? For making the enquiry? Delete that self doubt straight away.
This applies to your work as well. I discovered that if I supplied any notion of hesitation, disappointment or dissatisfaction with a piece of writing when speaking with others, then they would hear or read the piece with that in mind. They would be looking for what is wrong with the piece, whether there was anything wrong with it or not. And it was my own fault. I'd laid the ground work for that response. I'd suggested there was a problem. Present your work neutrally - let the audience decide objectively. Don't give them any reason to question. Of course there might still be problems but let your readers come to their own judgements - their feedback will be far more useful that way.
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