I must try and have more rubbish holidays. The most recent crop have been far too enjoyable which only results in the immediate desire for more holidays. This seems to be a flaw in the whole holiday concept. Or maybe I am doing it wrong. ?
I would say Happy New Year but that was like a month ago and there is 2018 laughing hysterically at me for thinking I'm in charge of the next eleven months. In truth I have no idea what this year holds for me. This isn't new. Every year in recent memory has been way more than half a mystery as it kicks off. And it is fair to say I have been busy enough each year. Too busy sometimes. But of course not busy enough is as bad as too busy and I have little control over the balance. I can say no if things get too hectic but shouting yes into the void won't bring me more events to be involved in or books to be launched. Or ideas to feverishly bring to life.
I passed on the retraining. I tried it on for size and I just knew it would hang in the wardrobe unworn season after season. A cool thing I paid good money for that didn't quite fit me the way I wanted it to. But it is good to be open to new things. And of course I never say never. It is a silly word that cuts off too many possibilities.
So where to now? I am currently looking for a routine that will work for me during the week. I have interviewed a few but they just weren't qualified enough or where overqualified and I knew they wouldn't stay in the job. And I need something flexible enough to work on a part time basis when the need arises. I'll keep looking and let you know how I get on.
Since finishing the last novel my brain has been lying fallow. A fallow brain is at risk of self doubt so I am looking to bring it back into use soon. Chuck Wendig made a great point recently about self doubt making it too easy for creative folk to put their tools down and resist picking them up again. I mean it's self doubt, right? It compels you to avoid the things that you feel doubt about and then you're not doing the things you should be doing. It's a slippery slope/ feedback loop hybrid. Fair call Chuck. Point taken.
So I'm casting about for some new projects and girding my loins to dive back into one that is like two thirds done, while eyeing up my empty dance card with mixed feelings. Feeling simultaneously nervous and excited about what the year might hold. All that potential.....
